Consent Has Never Existed

The reason there are so many humans is because of rape.

The reason women are smaller than men is because of rape.

The history of mankind is a rape manual.

We are coming into uncharted territory, a world without rape. Never before could we say no. What does yes mean if you’re not allowed to say no? How can you concede when you cannot deny? Women have been denied the most basic primary needs: the freedom to control our fate. Until now.

Men are going on a global rape-spree because they know the end to their power is here. They’ve been desperately working to the the world a more rape-able place because instinctively they understand that without rape, their biological imperative, to ‘procreate’ (that is, to steal a woman’s body as a genetic factory for their garbage DNA), will be universally denied.

When women can say no, men will find their lives to be meaningless. Suddenly, not every man gets the woman he feels is owed him. Many, most men will never participate in the conception of children because women recognize when men are not good mates.

Women saying no will, at last, steer evolution. Instead of men accessing as many female bodies as possible in a war against their own obsolescence, women will strategically and with great care and self-love be able to choose with whom and when they create human life.

Men have a death drive to impregnate women with clones. Women have a life drive, to raise their offspring to adulthood in a manner that makes the world a better place for everyone. Until now, men’s drive, out of sheer violence and power monopoly, has reigned.

Now, women can say no. And men are suddenly finding that women aren’t saying yes anymore.

Unfortunately, because men are such garbage, there will be a lot more rape until there isn’t any rape ever again.

Female-Only Space

My home has been women-only for about half a year now. My mom’s ex husband moved out and it was just her and I until we offered our basement to a friend and her daughter. We space four generations: a teen, me in my late twenties, my friend in her forties and my mom in her fifties.

I would call it peace. I would call it power.

My brother said it hurt his feelings.

On the weekend after canadian colonial invasion and animal sacrifice day (“thanks””giving”), we had some company for a turkey dinner. My mom’s brother and his wife, and my brother and sister came over. At the dinner table, my uncle got so rattled that the pepper wasn’t coming out of the shaker that he slammed the shaker on the table (twice) right in front of his wife’s plate (never his, you see. It’s not his problem, it’s her. Ours.)

My friend’s daughter is a vegetarian like me and she chose not to be in the house while the animal was roasting all day. Good thing. My brother, gynergy vampire #1 in my life and my mom’s too, was staying for a few days and there was a lack of communication with my friend. We had talked about protecting the home and maintaining it as a safe space for women. We hadn’t communicated with her that apparently my brother was exempted from this rule (how did we miss it?).

The only disagreement that has ever happened in the house has been because of male presence.

My friend spoke with my mother, as the matriarch, and wasn’t hesitant to explain to my brother as well as he’d overheard. My brother had a lot of feelings all over the place about not being implicitly trusted for absolutely no reason in a house full of victims seeking refuge from male violence.

My brother was the first one to not believe me when I exposed my mom’s husband as a child molester.

My brother was the first one to call me a whore after I was loaded and someone he knew tried to fuck with me.

My brother was the first to expose me to woman hating, the first to make me hate myself, the first to put himself first over me and then guilt me for identifying that behaviour.

My brother, who soooo isn’t a misogynist.

*

Women have a right to create spaces for themselves that men cannot invade. In fact, I believe that women leaving male-enforced isolation and banding together is what will save the planet and humankind. I don’t really care if men benefit from us taking well-deserved control, but I guess some women do care, so that should make them feel better.

But men don’t want to benefit from the new way, because the benefits from the old way include so many more orgasms and rape and progeny and free labour.

They might act as though they really don’t like being called pussies or whine about how unfair it is that they can’t walk behind a woman at night without invoking a genetic and social fear of rape and murder in her. But in reality, most of them don’t actually care, because they really like the whole rape thing.

*

My friend said that since moving in with us, she’s felt security in the first time in her life. She is newly awakened to the depths of patriarchy as the original destroyer. As a Dianic witch in a very male subscene, she was so influenced by men that they were able to convince her that class was the major divide. But even impoverished men pay for rape.

We were talking last night and she said something about still wanting to pursue men for sex from time to time (not in our home) and I said, Well, as long as you are gaining some sort of energy from them for yourself, which I assume you have to be.

She didn’t say anything. I think she has been so used to (used by) male presence that they haven’t let her think even for a moment what it would be like to not fuck them. That that could ever even be an option.

The farther I am from men, the more I see. I draw my sisters near to me. I’ll fight for them even as men have them fight me. I demand peace and power, respite and sanctuary.

Freewriting

Sorry for the wall of text but I wasn’t allowed to edit. This is an assignment my therapist gave me.

How to fix the world by writing without stopping. It seems easiest to start at the smallest thing and work my way up to the biggest thing, but how to define things? Creatures, yes, insects are very small, and bacteria are alive, and what about atoms, are they things or do they live? What does being alive mean in this context? I don’t really know but what I do know is that every thing, living or not living or in some liminal space of moving but not growing (is to grow to be alive?) lost my train of thought here hmmm okay starting over with the smallest thing that I can think of how to fix, bugs. Bugs are having a really rough go of it. There are 200 species on our planet going extinct EVERY day, that is 1000x the natural rate of extinction. Most of these species are bugs and that’s why most people don’t care. People think that bugs are pests, we kill them all the time, but every insect is here for a very specific purpose, and even if that purpose is simply food for the next biggest on the scale, that is a very noble cause indeed. Bees are the most important insect, arguably, because without them, we would have very little agriculture in five years. In fact, Einstein, who stole many of his ideas from his first wife and never credited them, said that without bees, men would disappear from the planet in four years. I’m sure by men he meant humans, but at that time women were not considered human but Other, and we didn’t really count. Interesting here that the current epoch we are living in is the anthropocene, Time of Man, which I think is very appropriate, especially since most experts consider this time to be almost over. Now, most men would tell you this means the extinction of Man which is, again, a stand-in for Human, but I disagree, of course. I think we are heading into the gynopocene. Time of Woman. This was a digression but an important one. You’ll have capitalists say, fuck the bees, we’ll just make poor people pollinate by hand, isn’t that lovely, JOBS! Steven Harper would be delighted. Then you’ll have futurists say, too bad about the bees but we’ll just make robot bees! Isn’t the future wonderful? Let’s all go to south Africa and dig twenty miles down into their land for the resources we need to create these robotic wonders, we’ll barf out our pollution there and it’ll be like it never happened! Never once thinking that ANY pollution ANYWHERE on the planet affects our GLOBAL climate. Anyway. Women, that is to say females, being the only true creators on the planet (I don’t mean inventing, or building, or engineering, but creating, growing), will say Save The Bees. And since women don’t have any money or land or power in a true global sense, everyone, even other women will say, what a stupid idea, it must be stupid since a woman thought it. So in conclusion, I didn’t get to talk about the things I meant to starting out, like the ocean or the Earth itself as a living organism on which we live the same way microbes live under our eyelids and feed on our dead eye guts, which is a lovely example of parasitic symbiosis, but unfortunately with men in charge and their hunger for power and money money money, resources, always extracting, taking, forgot about the SYMBIOSIS part of that exchange and have been simply acting as a cancer upon on our Earth since the beginning of agriculture and animal husbandry, which was the first time a man realized that HIS sperm in a woman helped create a human child, after which he decided this meant that he OWNED that woman AND that child, stamped them both his His Name and women have suffered ever since. Women, on the other hand, despite internalized misogyny and patriarchal brainwashing, understand that life is about give and take, but instead of every human doing both, we have become accustomed to one sex doing the giving, and one always the taking. So what does that mean? It means that if women stopped the population boom and refused PIV sex that the planet would be man-free in a hundred years and we’d finally have the time and energy to deal with our own trauma and the trauma of our distraught and destroyed planet. During that time women scientists will find the solution to living forever (reprogramming planned cell death or altering our telomeres so they don’t shrink with every reproduction, it doesn’t matter how all that matters is that we do it without profit in mind and then give it to everybody who wants it regardless of race or class, and even men can have it but only if they promise never to make another child, and if they want to have children then they can’t have it). We have to address the massive extinction level event problems NOW or we will suffer terribly. The solution is to put women in charge, everywhere, all over the globe. We need the bees for food, yes, but we could learn a lot from the way they construct their societies as well. 

Women’s attention is not men’s due

Men get really upset when you say you don’t care about them. This is evident both in the minutia of women’s everyday lives, where women who leave or attempt to leave their abusers are murdered or have extreme and often sexualized violence acted against them, and also in the grander scheme, where males have infiltrated every last vestige of women’s space and peace of mind. Men, for many reasons but not many of them legitimate, have grown up thinking they are entitled to the care, interest, and attention of women in their lives and indeed total strangers. We are born into a state of Men=Owed, Women=Giving. Men have also learned they are not responsible for returning that care, and in fact that women are not complete or interesting or worthy enough to even warrant the consideration of reciprocation. What I’m saying is it literally does not occur to men that we owe them NOTHING and are not in a default state of vomiting permissiveness.

So when women tell men they are not welcome, they get angry. They make accusations. They very frequently try to get the upper hand, appealing to the women’s sometimes battered sense of self, a shaky foundation from which to demand respect, especially from men. Men act like respect is a reward they bestow upon women for meeting their immediate criteria. All men have different criteria. That’s why one man calls you a whore but the other has no problem letting you suck his cock. You might have noticed these men are often one and the same, depending on what ‘you did’ to deserve his ire or his ‘respect’ (i.e. what you are good for to him, which is your only value).

Men are not welcome in my feminism, and I have a lot of good reasons why. It’s important to remember that most men make women uncomfortable. Their demand of focus and energy, their inappropriate comments or eye contact, boundary disrespect, their zero sum games (‘equality for all or no one’ is one I hear a lot, even though right now we unarguably don’t have equality for women and I don’t see any men giving up their half until we get ours), their often willful ignorance of the realities of female lives, and the simple fact that they are the oppressors attempting to force entrance into the safe spaces of the oppressed. When men are in the room, women have to start from scratch. We’re put on the defensive and expected to explain ourselves without becoming personal, recite countless statistics, and basically teach men what has become so familiar to women that we often have a hard time putting it to words.

We are learning those words, though. That’s what consciousness-raising is all about. In the seventies and indeed long before and after, women would get together in apartments or hotels or bookshops or coffee shops, and they would talk about feminism (or women’s lived reality under any name), and what it meant to them, and they would learn words. Those words, the naming of the problems, has tremendous power. I sensed it the first time I sent someone a definition of gaslighting. I knew it when I brought up patriarchal bargains. I understood it when I learned what compulsory heterosexuality was, and what it meant for me and for all of us. This isn’t the seventies. Lesbians and women and lost ground because we’ve lost valuable definitions—those two words, lesbian and woman, being the most important, most devalued, and most appropriated. But what we learned from the seventies, what our liberal feminist sisters forgot, is how to be a group and fight as a group. I don’t care if you shave your legs—but I need every woman to be free not to. I don’t care if you have heterosexual sex or get paid for it—but I need every woman to be free to choose not to or free to stop. A hundred years ago in my country I wasn’t even a legal human. Now men are telling me we’re all good, maybe even a little ahead? Men lie when they say women should be grateful for how far we’ve come. They’re reminding us how long they KEPT US BACK, and that our position is tenuous based on their approval. Then they threaten us with rape because that’s what they know sex to be, culturally and historically. Sex women wouldn’t want to have if men hadn’t lied about it first.

You can’t change the rules in the middle, though—we KNOW this. You have to start the game over. 

When men hear this, they become upset. They are afraid. They think we will take away all their rights, that we will kill them and humiliate them and devalue them. They think this because they understand that we deserve revenge. They are afraid because they know what they’ve done to us is wrong, and were they in our shoes, they would strike. We are striking. And men will indeed lose much of their valued power. But we won’t be taking it from them to use for ourselves. We will be using our own power, the power men have lied to us about for millennia. Women’s power is not violent. It is not ruthless or destructive or consuming. I know many women desire justice for harm done. I do too. I’m not just angry at one man, or ten. I’m angry at every single last man who ever benefited from the subjugation of a sister. Every man who believed a lie about a woman because it suited him better than the truth. Every man who has power he did not earn at the expense of someone deemed lesser from birth. 

All men benefit from patriarchy and even as all men benefit, some men are harmed. I don’t care. This is a radical statement, I’ve learned, not caring about men. For at least five thousand years men defined themselves as the default. Women are the other. We didn’t make the rules but we’re hated for making the best of them. We’ve become complicit in our own oppression for survival and self-preservation (mental and physical). Women need help, and we need to help women. Women need energy and togetherness. We need to sit in a room and talk about what it means to be a woman today. Why can anyone be a woman? Why are we women? Why does the sex with all the real power needed to heal and sustain the world (creation, empathy, foresight) get painted as the weaker one? What is ‘strength’? Why do we need men in our feminism? If they were going to help, they would have done it already.

Men don’t like the idea of being hated. They certainly don’t like to think about role reversal. What if we recorded a million gigs of naked men always bent at the waist, faces full of streaming make-up, smiling and begging for more as women, fully clothed and without compassion, violently penetrated them in symbolic fashion? What if we told boys they were filthy and if they couldn’t orgasm from something inside them then they were just broken? What if girls grew up seeing that violent, man-hating pornography, and entered into volatile and abusive relationships with those once-little boys? Don’t worry, men. It would never happen. Your vulgarity and sickness horrify us. Your lack of humanity causes despair among us. We are nothing like you, and that’s why you aren’t welcome. Are you inherently damaged—that pathetic little Y—or is it cultural? Why can’t you leave women alone, even when you are repeatedly and earnestly asked to? 

You want to know the truth about consciousness raising, men? You should be scared. Not for your lives, a fear you’ve dealt us every day. Not for your honour as you toy with ours. Not for your children, they are safer with us. You should be scared because you’ve been lied to about us, even as you perpetuate those lies. We are not meek. We are not irrational. And we are not better off as wives. We have empathy. We understand and respect emotion. We value life instead of death. Things are changing, you can sense it, which is why you flood us with hate speech and death threats, and waste our time with your trivialities of not feeling included or recognized or welcomed or rewarded. Feminism isn’t for you, it’s for liberation from you. But fear not, because no matter what else happens, and so much is already, we will never do to you what you’ve done to us.

further on compulsory heterosexuality

Just a reminder that heterosexuality as a vehicle for evolution is entirely different from heterosexuality as a compulsory institution under patriarchy. One is naturally occurring and not inherently oppressive (though piv is always more harmful to the woman than the man, period), but the myths surrounding it are patently false: there is evidence we all evolved from one woman, AND that it’s possible XX chromosomes ruled alone until the Y barged in and fucked everything up. Heterosexuality to reproduce is natural if no longer necessary or very close to obsolescence.  There is very little way of knowing how this might have played out without patriarchy as men have made sure what little herstory was recorded was subsequently destroyed or derided. Being the sex that creates life is pure positive power. I think we all know what the male sex tends to do to life.

The false myths are what patriarchy is based on. First the religious myth that Eve came from Adam and then cursed us all or some shit. Senseless, female-hating lies. Another lovely hetero religious myth is the ‘virgin birth’, which never happened, obviously (was Mary raped? I’ve heard it argued) Both of these myths tokenize women as most hetero myths do. Women are either evil sources of temptation (which is how men got away with a genocide against “witches”, which we’re still not talking about) or are ‘good women’, virgins, obedient wives, women who give their lives to service or god. I bring religion up as many say God the ‘Father’ is the original patriarch.

Some false myths women contend with under patriarchy today aren’t that different from thousands of years ago. We are still combating the virgin/whore dichotomy, in male-made media as well as in our personal lives. The ‘she wanted it’ or ‘I couldn’t tell she didn’t want it’ are the biggest lies in patriarchy today. Pornography has enshrined an entire new and incredibly damaging level of woman-hating among young men. Racialized, sexualized aggression against often poor women is a global phenomenon that most ‘decent’ guys have washed their hands of because even men who don’t actively participate in violence against women still benefit from a culture that encourages and then dismisses it.

Also, men love porn that lies about women because in real life, women don’t actually like having sex with guys who love porn! Weird, I know. The women in porn are of course real women, as all women are—but they are not allowed to act like real human beings. They are coached to act like submissive, masochistic receptacles for male climax and male hatred for female humanity. Porn actress and prostitute are live embodiments of male myths of heterosexuality, one of which being that there must be women from whom consent can be purchased (thereby rendering it NOT consent, btw, so rape) to ‘save’ other women. But is it a myth that if males cannot purchase sex they will ‘steal’ it, aka rape women? I don’t know but men certainly seem to think so! When men tell me they are rapists or potential rapists, I tend to believe them.

The reason heterosexuality under patriarchy is so pervasive is not because we need to keep ‘propagating the species’. And the amount of men who cry on their keyboards while writing about how much women NEED men for the species and how unwanted pursuance of women is just an animal instinct, is really alarming. This is why men believe they are entitled to sex: because sex between males and females is necessary to evolve. but actually, we’ve been doing this wrong, thanks to men. Women should be very selectively choosing only the very best candidates to mate with: impeccable health, physical strength, mental aptitude, proven empathy and compassion, and countless other traits that would improve the human race—like male LOVE, EMPATHY, and COMPASSION for women, children, other human beings, animals, the planet, etc. The joke of it all is the world would be a better place if men weren’t forcing their offspring on every woman. Men fail at evolution. The whole ‘you need us’ bullshit isn’t flying now that relentless repopulation is one of many factors converging to irreparably damage our planet.

Compulsory heterosexuality under patriarchy takes the form of women being raised as objects and even seeing themselves through the male gaze as a coping strategy. There IS a problem when cultures don’t let women live and survive on their own, free of male interference and influence, to find her own voice and calling. There is a problem when women who want to live apart from gynergy vacuums but men threaten and abuse them and drive them away until intentional communities of women can no longer thrive. We are indeed funnelled into heterosexuality with men (and we don’t receive the same messages men do, which is why marriage is such a fucking nightmare for many women). Girls need to see more options so that if they are NOT actually straight, or they are but they don’t want to have intercourse with men or at all, they can figure it out on their own.

Now we live in a world where girls are constantly sexually harassed from VERY young ages; our little sisters are being raped or coerced, or act consentingly and then are blackmailed, and these sisters are committing or contemplating suicide because our society is so cruel to girls and so callous about male violence and woman-hating. The real kicker is, we’re still telling these little girls, who every day face the vocal and visual degradation of all women or specific women, as well as the sexualization of their bodies against their will, and a valuing of their selfhood based on male measurements. We are raising girls to expect to marry men who hate women.

I’m not sorry that so many reddit mra circle jerk-offs don’t like my posts on compulsory heterosexuality. I don’t care. I might have got a shit ton of vile and threatening messages from rapists, but I also got several from women, and we ARE talking about you, and you should be scared.

I’m going to make a longer post on this topic later, but the concept of compulsory heterosexuality does NOT imply that women are ‘too stupid’ or ‘too oppressed’ to know their own minds. This is a total deliberate misinterpretation of radical feminism. Women are endlessly amazing. All I want to do is recognize male lies about women, male hatred of women in public and private forums, and provide a place for women who want to recover from harmful male influence.