Consent Has Never Existed

The reason there are so many humans is because of rape.

The reason women are smaller than men is because of rape.

The history of mankind is a rape manual.

We are coming into uncharted territory, a world without rape. Never before could we say no. What does yes mean if you’re not allowed to say no? How can you concede when you cannot deny? Women have been denied the most basic primary needs: the freedom to control our fate. Until now.

Men are going on a global rape-spree because they know the end to their power is here. They’ve been desperately working to the the world a more rape-able place because instinctively they understand that without rape, their biological imperative, to ‘procreate’ (that is, to steal a woman’s body as a genetic factory for their garbage DNA), will be universally denied.

When women can say no, men will find their lives to be meaningless. Suddenly, not every man gets the woman he feels is owed him. Many, most men will never participate in the conception of children because women recognize when men are not good mates.

Women saying no will, at last, steer evolution. Instead of men accessing as many female bodies as possible in a war against their own obsolescence, women will strategically and with great care and self-love be able to choose with whom and when they create human life.

Men have a death drive to impregnate women with clones. Women have a life drive, to raise their offspring to adulthood in a manner that makes the world a better place for everyone. Until now, men’s drive, out of sheer violence and power monopoly, has reigned.

Now, women can say no. And men are suddenly finding that women aren’t saying yes anymore.

Unfortunately, because men are such garbage, there will be a lot more rape until there isn’t any rape ever again.

On Making Amends

I know a woman who’s decided what she needs from men in order to consider working alongside them ever again. She’s been abused and mistreated and crazy-made and isolated, threatened and raped and nearly killed. She wants amends. She doesn’t want sorry, she wants actions that prove men are ready to abandon privilege and allow us the power they’ve so viciously and ritually denied us, forever.

All men have harmed women. There is no man in patriarchy whose hands are clean. ALL MEN BENEFIT FROM OTHER MEN MAKING WOMEN AFRAID TO SPEAK UP OR SAY NO.

All men.

This is not debatable. This is what patriarchy IS. It’s a brotherhood, and you don’t opt out, drop out, transition out, nothing. You’re a lifelong member of the rape club and if you’re not actively fighting it and amplifiying women’s voices and calling out your brothers even when your life is at risk, you don’t get to speak at all. But that is still not amends.

Here’s the thing. If you were SORRY, you would STOP.

If you didn’t LIKE IT, it would END.

If you wanted a new way, we would HAVE IT.

That’s because you, men, created a world where your power is the only power worth anything. So you took the power and you lied and lied about women, and now you’re super sad that so many women are angry and loud and really really mean.

Your feelings are meaningless, stop trying to make us care. You are the ones stalling a revolution, clinging desperately to your moms and girlfriends daughters and begging them to remember your dear, sweet humanity, because you know you’ve hurt women and you deserve to be left behind. You can’t move forward because you’d lose all the sweet perks, so you keep women back to keep you company, even though you can see her vitality leave her for your black hole vampirism. Better her than you, every time, for millennia.

Amends means identifying and correcting every wrong you’ve ever done, changing everything, giving it all up. Amends means suffering. It means looking deep into yourself and hating yourself in a constructive way. Don’t take your self-hate and make it our problem. Stop stalking and murdering us and our children when we leave. LET US GO.

If you want to change, you will. You know how. Stop asking us. It’s your problem now. We’re doing this without you, and you won’t like the world you’ve made for yourselves once we’re out of it.

Aside

Women are stronger with women

So I’m of the radical mind that any woman can be a lesbian. Any woman can leave men, do The Work, and be with women.

Women are born and raised in a patriarchy. One of the key tenets of patriarchy is compulsory heterosexuality. This manifests in a number of ways and varies by place and time but it always means women are taught to fuck men, cater to men, birth males, and see women and femaleness as less, as Other. Compulsory heterosexuality means women are not allowed to be lesbians. Men make sure lesbians are derided and degraded in media, that lesbophobic slurs are commonplace, that lesbians never see themselves represented anywhere, and that women are punished for loving women too much. It’s not subtle. Iterations of lesbians in all media are raped by men or die—or are not lesbians at all because their male creator had them fuck men. Little girls are called dykes for holding their friends’ hands in grade school. Most girls these days are first exposed to lesbians through porn, which is made by and for men. (This first exposure is changing and we do have more positive, strong lesbian women to look up to than we ever had before.)

And that’s just the pressure to NOT be a lesbian. The pressure to fuck men is just as powerful. The two feed off each other, they work in layers, they are employed based on the need at the time. Are women deciding not to marry men? Make it so women can’t afford to live alone. Are women deciding to live with other women? Destroy and demean female friendships. Are women lesbians? Remind them that their bodies belong to men, that they are performing for the male gaze, that men can decide to be them just to get to fuck them.

Girls are raised to hate other girls, and they grow up to hate women. We are rewarded for it. We are always encouraged to tear other women down. And there men are, eternally praised and promoted as the proper (only) choice, the hero, the inevitable result of being a woman. Patriarchy, MEN, derail young women from lesbianism by child sexual assault and rape. CSA grooms women for a lifetime of heterosexual abuse. This can become a cycle that destroys countless women.

My question is, is it any wonder there are not more lesbians?

The Born This Way narrative is politically expedient. “Don’t discriminate against us, we can’t help how we were born.” It appeals to the religious narrative: God made us this way. It makes sense to a lot of women. Many, if not most lesbians knew they were gay from a very young age. Was it before compulsory heterosexuality ‘got’ to them? Not in all cases certainly. But I think that might be part of it. When you are able to know yourself before someone else tells you who you are, you are more likely to fight back, to not believe the lies.

Women who were always lesbians are still submitted to compulsory heterosexuality. Harassment, abuse, heterosexism, corrective rape, are all ways of keeping lesbians in line, to remind them who they are there for: men. Lesbians are the punching bag for patriarchy because they are the furthest removed from men.

Later in life lesbians and political lesbians did not escape compulsory heterosexuality. They frequently had relationships with men before coming out. They bring with them huge amounts of male-identification, internalized misogyny, the poison of lesbophobia and homophobia. It takes huge amounts of self-awareness and self-love to move beyond seeing yourself as an object to be fucked to a subject with genuine emotion and love. (This isn’t to say always-lesbians don’t deal with self-hatred; they absolutely do, and it’s encouraged by patriarchy for all women, especially lesbians, to hate themselves). One thing that always struck me when I was with men was how much I felt like an actor. My words, my movements were not my own. I was presenting a preconceived notion of woman (read: straight woman) for the male gaze. I wasn’t ME—I was what I knew they thought I was. I learned this ideal from movies and porn and real life straight relationships. I had no lesbian role models that weren’t torn apart by men in order to keep me from straying from my ‘path’. When I found radical feminism, suddenly my words were my own. I was speaking with power and assurance. I knew what I was saying was my truth. And contrary to the idea of Born This Way that I’d grown up with, I saw that many radical feminists chose to devote their energy and words and love to women. And frequently, they fell in love with these women. It seems, to me anyway, to be such a natural progression of love. You’re with men, and in quiet and loud ways they hate you. You often hate yourself. You radicalize and find love. You learn to love yourself. You speak with love and love women. Then you Love Women. It is sexual, though not in the patriarchy prescribes sexuality. I think this is the key reasons some lesbians don’t approve of or believe in political lesbianism. Because male sexuality, which informs all female sexuality but most especially the sexuality of women who have sex with men, is toxic, parasitic, violent, and draining. I’ve said before that part of the reason it took me so long to figure out I’m a lesbian was because I didn’t want to do with women what men had done to me. That was my idea of sexuality. It wasn’t something I would inflict on someone I loved. It was something DONE TO me, not mutually shared. Patriarchy and men almost destroyed my ability to love women. And that was ON PURPOSE. And they succeed so frequently.

I believe that most women don’t actually want to be with men, and their “attraction” is nothing more than brainwashing and patriarchal grooming. Why else would patriarchy have to work so hard to keep women with men? If it’s so natural, why not let it progress naturally instead of forcing it upon us and removing all access to agency and choice? Women are tortured by the way they’ve been trained to react to men. I’ve had heartbreaking conversations with women who would do anything to undo what compulsory heterosexuality did to their brains and bodies from before they could speak. But the brain is incredibly resilient and plastic; heterosexuality can be unlearned with the rejection and removal of men.

I think the misconceptions around political lesbianism is a problem with language. As radical feminists, we cannot have the same idea of sexuality as the patriarchy does. We cannot demand that lesbians have sex—that is up to the lesbians. We are not men. We must be honest and real with each other. If you’ve been with men, you know they damage you. Having sex with men and being exposed to male-centric porn and media makes you feel like you can’t have sex with a woman without objectifying her, without hurting her as you’ve been hurt. This takes time to work through, maybe all the time in the world. But a woman who loves women, who only wants to be with women, and who is attracted to women, with whatever baggage she brings, is a lesbian. It’s not political celibacy—that’s called spinsterhood and it’s admirable as fuck but different. It’s not that I’m trying to mince words. I take umbrage with phrasing like ‘lesbians want to fuck women’ and ‘lesbians want to have sex with women’ because they are both so stained by maleness and PIV-centrism. It’s almost certainly because I was stained by maleness that I struggle with the patriarchal lexicon, and that’s my issue and the issue of all women who have been exposed to toxic male sexuality and their control of language.

It’s interesting that when this conversation first started happening in the seventies, it was lesbians telling straight women to ditch men and discover women, and straight women saying they love the cock and the privileges and they’re just fine thanks ever so. It’s changed now, and I do understand why. But the women looking to political lesbianism aren’t het women who’ll go back to men. They are radical feminist women who eschew men and value women, and that’s an important distinction. Every woman can be a lesbian. Not every woman should be. Some women will hurt lesbians and destroy them with their male identification–they should not be lesbians until they do The Work. But no woman is born straight. Women are groomed, and in that process there is real harm.

For me, political lesbianism was a stepping stone. It made me realize that just because I’d been fucked and raped by men didn’t mean that was my entire story. Since I (thought I) was bi, I think the transition was easier because I already had that attraction, as tainted by patriarchy as it felt at times. I stopped being with men and in fact moved toward separatism. Once I was free from those tendrils of men, once their vampiric access to my body and selfhood was revoked, I woke up. Everything changed for me. In some ways political lesbianism is coming to your true sexuality through radical female-centric politics. Loving women IS political. It is personal of course, but the personal is political. We do not exist outside patriarchy, not even separatists. It is simply the realization that you don’t have to be with men and that relationships with women can be mutual, healing, loving, and sexual. It’s the realization that you were lied to, with all the power behind patriarchy, about men, about women, and about yourself.

Sometimes I think we should retire the term altogether, but that might be because I just don’t need it anymore, and that’s incredibly selfish. Regardless of how you come to love women, of how long it takes or what your journey looks like, if you exclusively love women in every female sense of the word ‘love’ then you are a lesbian.

Women’s attention is not men’s due

Men get really upset when you say you don’t care about them. This is evident both in the minutia of women’s everyday lives, where women who leave or attempt to leave their abusers are murdered or have extreme and often sexualized violence acted against them, and also in the grander scheme, where males have infiltrated every last vestige of women’s space and peace of mind. Men, for many reasons but not many of them legitimate, have grown up thinking they are entitled to the care, interest, and attention of women in their lives and indeed total strangers. We are born into a state of Men=Owed, Women=Giving. Men have also learned they are not responsible for returning that care, and in fact that women are not complete or interesting or worthy enough to even warrant the consideration of reciprocation. What I’m saying is it literally does not occur to men that we owe them NOTHING and are not in a default state of vomiting permissiveness.

So when women tell men they are not welcome, they get angry. They make accusations. They very frequently try to get the upper hand, appealing to the women’s sometimes battered sense of self, a shaky foundation from which to demand respect, especially from men. Men act like respect is a reward they bestow upon women for meeting their immediate criteria. All men have different criteria. That’s why one man calls you a whore but the other has no problem letting you suck his cock. You might have noticed these men are often one and the same, depending on what ‘you did’ to deserve his ire or his ‘respect’ (i.e. what you are good for to him, which is your only value).

Men are not welcome in my feminism, and I have a lot of good reasons why. It’s important to remember that most men make women uncomfortable. Their demand of focus and energy, their inappropriate comments or eye contact, boundary disrespect, their zero sum games (‘equality for all or no one’ is one I hear a lot, even though right now we unarguably don’t have equality for women and I don’t see any men giving up their half until we get ours), their often willful ignorance of the realities of female lives, and the simple fact that they are the oppressors attempting to force entrance into the safe spaces of the oppressed. When men are in the room, women have to start from scratch. We’re put on the defensive and expected to explain ourselves without becoming personal, recite countless statistics, and basically teach men what has become so familiar to women that we often have a hard time putting it to words.

We are learning those words, though. That’s what consciousness-raising is all about. In the seventies and indeed long before and after, women would get together in apartments or hotels or bookshops or coffee shops, and they would talk about feminism (or women’s lived reality under any name), and what it meant to them, and they would learn words. Those words, the naming of the problems, has tremendous power. I sensed it the first time I sent someone a definition of gaslighting. I knew it when I brought up patriarchal bargains. I understood it when I learned what compulsory heterosexuality was, and what it meant for me and for all of us. This isn’t the seventies. Lesbians and women and lost ground because we’ve lost valuable definitions—those two words, lesbian and woman, being the most important, most devalued, and most appropriated. But what we learned from the seventies, what our liberal feminist sisters forgot, is how to be a group and fight as a group. I don’t care if you shave your legs—but I need every woman to be free not to. I don’t care if you have heterosexual sex or get paid for it—but I need every woman to be free to choose not to or free to stop. A hundred years ago in my country I wasn’t even a legal human. Now men are telling me we’re all good, maybe even a little ahead? Men lie when they say women should be grateful for how far we’ve come. They’re reminding us how long they KEPT US BACK, and that our position is tenuous based on their approval. Then they threaten us with rape because that’s what they know sex to be, culturally and historically. Sex women wouldn’t want to have if men hadn’t lied about it first.

You can’t change the rules in the middle, though—we KNOW this. You have to start the game over. 

When men hear this, they become upset. They are afraid. They think we will take away all their rights, that we will kill them and humiliate them and devalue them. They think this because they understand that we deserve revenge. They are afraid because they know what they’ve done to us is wrong, and were they in our shoes, they would strike. We are striking. And men will indeed lose much of their valued power. But we won’t be taking it from them to use for ourselves. We will be using our own power, the power men have lied to us about for millennia. Women’s power is not violent. It is not ruthless or destructive or consuming. I know many women desire justice for harm done. I do too. I’m not just angry at one man, or ten. I’m angry at every single last man who ever benefited from the subjugation of a sister. Every man who believed a lie about a woman because it suited him better than the truth. Every man who has power he did not earn at the expense of someone deemed lesser from birth. 

All men benefit from patriarchy and even as all men benefit, some men are harmed. I don’t care. This is a radical statement, I’ve learned, not caring about men. For at least five thousand years men defined themselves as the default. Women are the other. We didn’t make the rules but we’re hated for making the best of them. We’ve become complicit in our own oppression for survival and self-preservation (mental and physical). Women need help, and we need to help women. Women need energy and togetherness. We need to sit in a room and talk about what it means to be a woman today. Why can anyone be a woman? Why are we women? Why does the sex with all the real power needed to heal and sustain the world (creation, empathy, foresight) get painted as the weaker one? What is ‘strength’? Why do we need men in our feminism? If they were going to help, they would have done it already.

Men don’t like the idea of being hated. They certainly don’t like to think about role reversal. What if we recorded a million gigs of naked men always bent at the waist, faces full of streaming make-up, smiling and begging for more as women, fully clothed and without compassion, violently penetrated them in symbolic fashion? What if we told boys they were filthy and if they couldn’t orgasm from something inside them then they were just broken? What if girls grew up seeing that violent, man-hating pornography, and entered into volatile and abusive relationships with those once-little boys? Don’t worry, men. It would never happen. Your vulgarity and sickness horrify us. Your lack of humanity causes despair among us. We are nothing like you, and that’s why you aren’t welcome. Are you inherently damaged—that pathetic little Y—or is it cultural? Why can’t you leave women alone, even when you are repeatedly and earnestly asked to? 

You want to know the truth about consciousness raising, men? You should be scared. Not for your lives, a fear you’ve dealt us every day. Not for your honour as you toy with ours. Not for your children, they are safer with us. You should be scared because you’ve been lied to about us, even as you perpetuate those lies. We are not meek. We are not irrational. And we are not better off as wives. We have empathy. We understand and respect emotion. We value life instead of death. Things are changing, you can sense it, which is why you flood us with hate speech and death threats, and waste our time with your trivialities of not feeling included or recognized or welcomed or rewarded. Feminism isn’t for you, it’s for liberation from you. But fear not, because no matter what else happens, and so much is already, we will never do to you what you’ve done to us.

further on compulsory heterosexuality

Just a reminder that heterosexuality as a vehicle for evolution is entirely different from heterosexuality as a compulsory institution under patriarchy. One is naturally occurring and not inherently oppressive (though piv is always more harmful to the woman than the man, period), but the myths surrounding it are patently false: there is evidence we all evolved from one woman, AND that it’s possible XX chromosomes ruled alone until the Y barged in and fucked everything up. Heterosexuality to reproduce is natural if no longer necessary or very close to obsolescence.  There is very little way of knowing how this might have played out without patriarchy as men have made sure what little herstory was recorded was subsequently destroyed or derided. Being the sex that creates life is pure positive power. I think we all know what the male sex tends to do to life.

The false myths are what patriarchy is based on. First the religious myth that Eve came from Adam and then cursed us all or some shit. Senseless, female-hating lies. Another lovely hetero religious myth is the ‘virgin birth’, which never happened, obviously (was Mary raped? I’ve heard it argued) Both of these myths tokenize women as most hetero myths do. Women are either evil sources of temptation (which is how men got away with a genocide against “witches”, which we’re still not talking about) or are ‘good women’, virgins, obedient wives, women who give their lives to service or god. I bring religion up as many say God the ‘Father’ is the original patriarch.

Some false myths women contend with under patriarchy today aren’t that different from thousands of years ago. We are still combating the virgin/whore dichotomy, in male-made media as well as in our personal lives. The ‘she wanted it’ or ‘I couldn’t tell she didn’t want it’ are the biggest lies in patriarchy today. Pornography has enshrined an entire new and incredibly damaging level of woman-hating among young men. Racialized, sexualized aggression against often poor women is a global phenomenon that most ‘decent’ guys have washed their hands of because even men who don’t actively participate in violence against women still benefit from a culture that encourages and then dismisses it.

Also, men love porn that lies about women because in real life, women don’t actually like having sex with guys who love porn! Weird, I know. The women in porn are of course real women, as all women are—but they are not allowed to act like real human beings. They are coached to act like submissive, masochistic receptacles for male climax and male hatred for female humanity. Porn actress and prostitute are live embodiments of male myths of heterosexuality, one of which being that there must be women from whom consent can be purchased (thereby rendering it NOT consent, btw, so rape) to ‘save’ other women. But is it a myth that if males cannot purchase sex they will ‘steal’ it, aka rape women? I don’t know but men certainly seem to think so! When men tell me they are rapists or potential rapists, I tend to believe them.

The reason heterosexuality under patriarchy is so pervasive is not because we need to keep ‘propagating the species’. And the amount of men who cry on their keyboards while writing about how much women NEED men for the species and how unwanted pursuance of women is just an animal instinct, is really alarming. This is why men believe they are entitled to sex: because sex between males and females is necessary to evolve. but actually, we’ve been doing this wrong, thanks to men. Women should be very selectively choosing only the very best candidates to mate with: impeccable health, physical strength, mental aptitude, proven empathy and compassion, and countless other traits that would improve the human race—like male LOVE, EMPATHY, and COMPASSION for women, children, other human beings, animals, the planet, etc. The joke of it all is the world would be a better place if men weren’t forcing their offspring on every woman. Men fail at evolution. The whole ‘you need us’ bullshit isn’t flying now that relentless repopulation is one of many factors converging to irreparably damage our planet.

Compulsory heterosexuality under patriarchy takes the form of women being raised as objects and even seeing themselves through the male gaze as a coping strategy. There IS a problem when cultures don’t let women live and survive on their own, free of male interference and influence, to find her own voice and calling. There is a problem when women who want to live apart from gynergy vacuums but men threaten and abuse them and drive them away until intentional communities of women can no longer thrive. We are indeed funnelled into heterosexuality with men (and we don’t receive the same messages men do, which is why marriage is such a fucking nightmare for many women). Girls need to see more options so that if they are NOT actually straight, or they are but they don’t want to have intercourse with men or at all, they can figure it out on their own.

Now we live in a world where girls are constantly sexually harassed from VERY young ages; our little sisters are being raped or coerced, or act consentingly and then are blackmailed, and these sisters are committing or contemplating suicide because our society is so cruel to girls and so callous about male violence and woman-hating. The real kicker is, we’re still telling these little girls, who every day face the vocal and visual degradation of all women or specific women, as well as the sexualization of their bodies against their will, and a valuing of their selfhood based on male measurements. We are raising girls to expect to marry men who hate women.

I’m not sorry that so many reddit mra circle jerk-offs don’t like my posts on compulsory heterosexuality. I don’t care. I might have got a shit ton of vile and threatening messages from rapists, but I also got several from women, and we ARE talking about you, and you should be scared.

I’m going to make a longer post on this topic later, but the concept of compulsory heterosexuality does NOT imply that women are ‘too stupid’ or ‘too oppressed’ to know their own minds. This is a total deliberate misinterpretation of radical feminism. Women are endlessly amazing. All I want to do is recognize male lies about women, male hatred of women in public and private forums, and provide a place for women who want to recover from harmful male influence.

lies about women

There’s a multi-billion dollar porn industry dedicated to portraying women pretending to enjoy painful sex. There’s a highly lucrative bdsm industry that showcases female masochism as the height of femininity and therefore sexual desirability  There are countless media sources ostensibly for women that but only serve to destroy self-esteem, encourage women to have sex they don’t like or want, and pretend men are just silly-billies who need our guidance because they just don’t get our wacky lady brains.

Disney heroines find love with men often after conquering the female villain who is almost always shown as not having known male love (which is deceitfully painted as the healing love when in fact it’s the opposite). Toys that prepare little girls for ‘womanhood’ train them to expect motherhood and heterosexual marriage. You’ll notice womanhood only includes the facets of being female that appeal to males, such as sex characteristics and sexuality, performed femininity (which is simultaneously mocked and adored), her ability to become pregnant and give birth, or her ability to perform duties like cooking, cleaning, and breadwinning. This is what womanhood is to men: what it can do for men. 

The parts of femalehood that are not celebrated because men or certain men do not approve are denigrated and we are made to feel humiliated by them. Things like menstruation, birth control and abortion, lesbianism and bisexuality, and rejecting patriarchal femininity, are all openly derided because they do not benefit males. Rape has become a joke and when it’s not a joke, it’s porn. 

BDSM, heterosexuality, prostitution, and pornography, when enacted or used by males, is always going to result in the oppression of females. BDSM in its most common form (dominant male to submissive female) celebrates male violence against women. Even if you believe truly informed and vacuum-free consent can even exist under capitalist patriarchy, it still takes a sick fuck to enjoy hurting another human, especially sexualizing that violence in the historical context of males actively oppressing females through sex AND in light of the fact that many women in bdsm have histories of sexual abuse. And yes, I have experience with bdsm and everything else I discuss, so can we fuck off with that?

Contemporary heterosexuality, by which I mean the common representations of heterosexuality in our media and our lives, is shown as the end game. Abuse, rape, forced impregnation, male control of finances and reproductive freedom, childish or threatening behaviour, and basic male uselessness in terms of being a good partner or parent, are all common lived experiences in heterosexuality. The heterosexual couple is the cornerstone of global female exploitation. Abusive rapist men might be outliers but among the silence of their rumoured civilized peers, and believe me it is DEAD SILENCE from ‘decent men’ out there, they speak the loudest. Why don’t these decent men want the rapists to shut the fuck up and die? Oh yeah, all men benefit from and contribute to a rape culture that enshrines male access to female bodies. Porn has also destroyed in men the empathy necessary to see rape as a horror; instead he will always sympathize with the rapist (unless the raped woman ‘belongs’ to him, in which case the rapist broke the bro code).

Porn and the ‘purchase’ of prostituted women is male sexual violence against vulnerable females at its apex. Consent cannot be negotiated with financial compensation or the concept becomes meaningless. I will never speak against women who participate in porn or prostitution other than to urge them to examine their ‘choice’ in terms of coercive, capitalist patriarchy as well as how very little that choice means to girls and women who don’t have one.

So yeah, there are a lot of forces at work against women finding other women. Women are also encouraged and rewarded for hating other women, we are lied to about what we are like and therefore what other women are like. There are multiple scare tactics used to misrepresent feminists, lesbians, political lesbians, and truly any woman who questions anything men like. But there is one thing I learned when I stopped giving a fuck about men—women will protect you. To women (to lesbians and feminists), no woman is disposable. No woman is replaceable. All are necessary, and valued, and worthy. 

Heterosexuality is anti-feminist

Radical feminism needs to examine heterosexuality the same way we do BDSM. Most radfems seem to agree that there can be no true consent in BDSM because of our patriarchal culture informing all of our decisions and preferences. BDSM is a hyper-aggressive sexually hierarchal microcosm of heterosexuality. 

But we cannot stop the critical thinking there. It’s imperative that we view heterosexuality in similar terms. Heterosexuality and by proxy intercourse is harmful to women for a multitude of reasons, and learning that it is unavoidable is extremely harmful to girl children.

For those who are heterosexual and choose to be with men, please do think this action is feminist. It’s not. I’m of the mind that any sexual interaction with the male sex class is implicit encouragement for the continued oppression of women. This is radical, I’m aware. But women as a class cannot consent under a patriarchy. Individually, women can only make informed consent, which is like saying, ‘I know he could beat me, rape me, or kill me, and statistically speaking it’s likely he’ll do one of the three, but I want to be with him anyway.’ That’s fine for you. It’s not fine for everyone else. It’s not fine for our next generation of girls who need to see women standing alone and women standing with women.

Heterosexuality is not feminist. It’s a method of keeping women unnecessarily bound to men to provide sex, free labour, and children to be indoctrinated into more of the same.