Identifying versus existing

“identify” is a kind of a weird and pointless way to talk about what makes you female. I’ve never once thought about identifying as my actual literal physical form. It’s like saying you identifying as a brain in a meat suit with a super intelligent gut. You don’t have to acknowledge how you feel about it, it is just it. We just are. I am a woman. My relationship with gender only relates to being a woman in that gender = gender roles and those are enforced on both sexes (and often violently enforced on intersex people like having vaginal canals stretched brutally year after year from birth to accommodate a penis, thanks again to compulsory heterosexuality), but women get the inferior gender roles because men made up a whole lot of lies and excuses to control us and maintain their power.

Appearing as something does not make you something. Saying you feel like something does not change you into that thing. Trust me when I say trans women don’t feel like me, don’t identify with me, wouldn’t identify as me or someone like me. Yet I am a woman. I’m not a woman because I look like a woman or feel like one. My womanhood is an objective, measurable reality. Not a pastiche of a man’s patriarchally informed impressions of me. There are physical aspects of womanhood that are monolithic : chromosomes, skeletal structure, phenotype, procreative capacity perceived or actual, secondary sex characteristics like beasts with milk ducts, cellulite, plentiful scalp hair, vulvae and internal organs specific to femaleness. These are identifiable on a body but they cannot be identified into existence on a male body.

Our bodies are not suits to don and touch up and perfect, especially when the person in the suit uses his male privilege, power, and entitlement to silence women and change our very definition.

Women who call themselves cis think the trans movement is going to help free them of the shackles of the stunting, violent gender binary. I understand and respect that. I want out too. But if it were truly transgressive, wouldn’t trans women simply exists in their bodies however they want to appear without hijacking the title of woman?  Why is so much disrespect for women’s female selves? Why aren’t you rejecting the assertion that womanhood is appearance and feeling? Is it because these are the only things women have ever been valued for and you don’t have the vocabulary or voice to object? ? Oh, well our acquiescence is also highly in demand, you’ll notice. Witness how that continues to be enforced in very telling male ways. What about how often straight cis white guys tell you about your womanhood? Just being good allies right?

Ask what it means to be a woman if anyone can be a woman, and demand an answer. Reject that female is an identity! And then demand the liberation of women from white male supremacy. That’s what trans people have in common with lesbians and all women. Why are they so devoted to taping our mouths shut instead of destroying the common enemy?

Could it be that the brotherhood transcends transness?

11 thoughts on “Identifying versus existing

    1. Not more violence overall, but in having gender enforced many experience great violation. I was thinking specifically of intersex people who have their vaginal canals brutally stretched year after year from birth to accommodate a penis (and there’s obviously no other reason to do this besides compulsory heterosexuality). Wording it the way I did was wrong, though, especially considering practises like fgm. I’m going to edit it.

  1. That’s what trans people have in common with lesbians and all women. Why are they so devoted to taping our mouths shut instead of destroying the common enemy?

    Trans males are men, they want to uphold male supremacy as do more or less all men even if they claim to “suffer” under it. Men are not actually the enemy of other men, so we do not have common ground here.

    Many of the more powerful and vocal ones are also white and perfectly happy with the white supremacy part too, despite the bleating about intersectionality and racism we hear from them (a stick to beat the uppity women with).

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