further on compulsory heterosexuality

Just a reminder that heterosexuality as a vehicle for evolution is entirely different from heterosexuality as a compulsory institution under patriarchy. One is naturally occurring and not inherently oppressive (though piv is always more harmful to the woman than the man, period), but the myths surrounding it are patently false: there is evidence we all evolved from one woman, AND that it’s possible XX chromosomes ruled alone until the Y barged in and fucked everything up. Heterosexuality to reproduce is natural if no longer necessary or very close to obsolescence.  There is very little way of knowing how this might have played out without patriarchy as men have made sure what little herstory was recorded was subsequently destroyed or derided. Being the sex that creates life is pure positive power. I think we all know what the male sex tends to do to life.

The false myths are what patriarchy is based on. First the religious myth that Eve came from Adam and then cursed us all or some shit. Senseless, female-hating lies. Another lovely hetero religious myth is the ‘virgin birth’, which never happened, obviously (was Mary raped? I’ve heard it argued) Both of these myths tokenize women as most hetero myths do. Women are either evil sources of temptation (which is how men got away with a genocide against “witches”, which we’re still not talking about) or are ‘good women’, virgins, obedient wives, women who give their lives to service or god. I bring religion up as many say God the ‘Father’ is the original patriarch.

Some false myths women contend with under patriarchy today aren’t that different from thousands of years ago. We are still combating the virgin/whore dichotomy, in male-made media as well as in our personal lives. The ‘she wanted it’ or ‘I couldn’t tell she didn’t want it’ are the biggest lies in patriarchy today. Pornography has enshrined an entire new and incredibly damaging level of woman-hating among young men. Racialized, sexualized aggression against often poor women is a global phenomenon that most ‘decent’ guys have washed their hands of because even men who don’t actively participate in violence against women still benefit from a culture that encourages and then dismisses it.

Also, men love porn that lies about women because in real life, women don’t actually like having sex with guys who love porn! Weird, I know. The women in porn are of course real women, as all women are—but they are not allowed to act like real human beings. They are coached to act like submissive, masochistic receptacles for male climax and male hatred for female humanity. Porn actress and prostitute are live embodiments of male myths of heterosexuality, one of which being that there must be women from whom consent can be purchased (thereby rendering it NOT consent, btw, so rape) to ‘save’ other women. But is it a myth that if males cannot purchase sex they will ‘steal’ it, aka rape women? I don’t know but men certainly seem to think so! When men tell me they are rapists or potential rapists, I tend to believe them.

The reason heterosexuality under patriarchy is so pervasive is not because we need to keep ‘propagating the species’. And the amount of men who cry on their keyboards while writing about how much women NEED men for the species and how unwanted pursuance of women is just an animal instinct, is really alarming. This is why men believe they are entitled to sex: because sex between males and females is necessary to evolve. but actually, we’ve been doing this wrong, thanks to men. Women should be very selectively choosing only the very best candidates to mate with: impeccable health, physical strength, mental aptitude, proven empathy and compassion, and countless other traits that would improve the human race—like male LOVE, EMPATHY, and COMPASSION for women, children, other human beings, animals, the planet, etc. The joke of it all is the world would be a better place if men weren’t forcing their offspring on every woman. Men fail at evolution. The whole ‘you need us’ bullshit isn’t flying now that relentless repopulation is one of many factors converging to irreparably damage our planet.

Compulsory heterosexuality under patriarchy takes the form of women being raised as objects and even seeing themselves through the male gaze as a coping strategy. There IS a problem when cultures don’t let women live and survive on their own, free of male interference and influence, to find her own voice and calling. There is a problem when women who want to live apart from gynergy vacuums but men threaten and abuse them and drive them away until intentional communities of women can no longer thrive. We are indeed funnelled into heterosexuality with men (and we don’t receive the same messages men do, which is why marriage is such a fucking nightmare for many women). Girls need to see more options so that if they are NOT actually straight, or they are but they don’t want to have intercourse with men or at all, they can figure it out on their own.

Now we live in a world where girls are constantly sexually harassed from VERY young ages; our little sisters are being raped or coerced, or act consentingly and then are blackmailed, and these sisters are committing or contemplating suicide because our society is so cruel to girls and so callous about male violence and woman-hating. The real kicker is, we’re still telling these little girls, who every day face the vocal and visual degradation of all women or specific women, as well as the sexualization of their bodies against their will, and a valuing of their selfhood based on male measurements. We are raising girls to expect to marry men who hate women.

I’m not sorry that so many reddit mra circle jerk-offs don’t like my posts on compulsory heterosexuality. I don’t care. I might have got a shit ton of vile and threatening messages from rapists, but I also got several from women, and we ARE talking about you, and you should be scared.

I’m going to make a longer post on this topic later, but the concept of compulsory heterosexuality does NOT imply that women are ‘too stupid’ or ‘too oppressed’ to know their own minds. This is a total deliberate misinterpretation of radical feminism. Women are endlessly amazing. All I want to do is recognize male lies about women, male hatred of women in public and private forums, and provide a place for women who want to recover from harmful male influence.

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4 thoughts on “further on compulsory heterosexuality

  1. Men fail at evolution. That made me lol. Ha yeah, the compulsory heterosexuality thing – men hate women to start thinking like that – makes it far too obvious just how utterly useless and unnecessary they are. They’re crap at sex, crap (at best) with kids, if not outright abusers, crap at providing emotional love and support to their partners. Like, seriously, why do women need men at all? For anything?

  2. And yet another moving, consciousness raising etc writing that tells it like it is! PLEASE keep writing and talking about all of these important issues! Us women need a voice like yours to represent us! You say things that other women are afraid to, or are just too damned oppressed to even entertain in their minds! It’s funny-I have known what you talk about for years. I felt crazy at times, like the what the patriarchy wants us to feel. I began reading feminist books and connecting with other women who felt as I did. My thoughts were then confirmed by those who MATTER to me-other women! Thanks once again for reinforcing that I am not insane-men are!

    1. I feel crazy every day–and whenever I feel that, I KNOW it’s the male-identification speaking. I know it’s the part of me that internalized patriarchy crying out and saying STOP it’s too hard, it’s too much too scary too uncertain. I know it’s patriarchy itself speaking, and I will not lend it my own voice, not ever.

      THANK YOU for this gorgeous comment, and for reading. I’m sorry for the lateness. We are the voice of reason, here–and the louder we get, the more certain it is who exactly is trying to shut us up. Never stop speaking, sister. ❤

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